Wakeboarding.

Although I did this probably over a year ago, it came up, and so I explained my experience to a few friends.
I’ll leave this here for the luls.

[18:23:06] SO much terror
[18:23:24] they use like a rope tow round a lake… like a ski lift going 50mph in a circle
[18:23:38] they start you off on kneely boards. not standing ones
[18:24:04] so you get launched off the decking at the side of the lake, and instantly for no reason you hit the water at 50mph with your shoulders hurting
[18:24:10] then have to swim back to the shore
[18:24:30] then you have another go and get 13 meters from shore, then inexplicably hit the water really hard, get winded
[18:24:36] and then have to swim all that way back to shore
[18:24:50] then the third time it goes “right” and you swoosh off round the lake
[18:24:56] bouncing up and down on the fucking waves
[18:25:00] crying a little
[18:25:14] then just by the time you’ve almost got the hang of going in a straight line, there’s a fucking corner
[18:25:30] and you’re thinking “god, i’m MILES from the start bit, I can’t fall it’s a LOOOOONG way to swim back”
[18:25:49] so you go round the corner with tears streaming and start to go down the back straight
[18:25:54] that’s fine, right… it’s a straight bit
[18:26:01] but no… this bit isn’t in shelter and it’s windy
[18:26:05] so the waves are BIG
[18:26:11] SLAP SLAP SLAP
[18:26:13] BANG BANG
[18:26:24] the tears aren’t sure if they’re coming out or going in…
[18:26:38] and then when you get to the end of that straight bit… you have to do another CORNER
[18:26:48] that’s probably doable right? you’ve done one corner
[18:26:56] but then you see out of your right eye… fucking SWANS
[18:27:00] there are SWANS
[18:27:07] WHY ARE THERE SWANS ON THIS LAKE?!
[18:27:20] so you figure you’re nearly back at the start… so fuck this… let go of the string
[18:27:34] instantly the front of your board sinks and you go over the front into the water HARD
[18:27:53] come up gasping for air… and hear the screams of the guy behind you who’s about to run you over
[18:28:05] the only way to get out of the way is to swim towards the FUCKING SWANS!
[18:28:27] so eventually you get back to the edge, crawl out… realise you’re fucking bleeding from your foot… then go and get a shower
[18:28:32] “wakeboarding done”

I recon if I stuck at it, it’d be really really fun, but with “not loving water much” I recon it’s a sport I don’t really need. On to the MX.

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